Green Leggs with Man
by sss979
Summary: Adult humor. Dr. Seuss on crack. Short and funny. ; 'Nuff said.


Green Leggs with Man  
Thanks to all who contributed to this one. No, this did not come entirely from my sick mind.  
  
I am Raph  
Raph I am  
  
Oh, Raph-I-am!  
Oh, Raph-I-am!  
I really LIKE you, Raph-I-am!  
  
Do you like green legs with man?  
  
Oh yes, I LOVE green legs with man!  
I REALLY LIKE them, Raph-I-am!  
  
Would you like to screw right here?  
  
Oh, I would like to do it here.  
I'd love to do it anywhere!  
I really LIKE green legs with man.  
I REALLY like them, Raph-I-am.  
  
Would you do it on the floor?  
Can we do it at the door?  
We could do it more and more  
Baby, I would LOVE to score!  
So baby, why don't you come here,   
And we can do it EVERYWHERE!   
You said you like green legs with man?  
  
I DO! I LOVE them, Raph-I-am!  
  
Do you have a camera here?  
Would you like a striptease, dear?   
I'd love to strip.   
I've got a whip  
And we could play  
All night and day.  
Just say the word, I'll do you here.  
Oh yeah, I'd do you anywhere.  
So come and see what we could plan  
To have some fun, for Raph-I-am.  
  
Would you? Could you? In a chair?  
Or maybe in the hall or stairs?  
  
Oh, yes I'd do you in a chair!  
  
You may like a change, you see.   
You may like it in a tree!  
  
Oh do me, DO me in a tree!  
Do me, Raphy, don't just tease!  
  
We could do it in the shower.  
We could make out every hour.  
We could do it in a house.  
We could do it on the couch.  
The table, then the sink and then.  
We'll sleep and do it all again!   
  
I do so like green legs with man!  
I do so love you, Raph-I-am!  
  
A bar! A bar!  
A bar! A bar!  
Could you, would you, in a bar?  
  
Oh in a bar! Oh in a tree!  
It does not matter much to me!  
  
We could do it on the deck.  
Or on the loveseat, what the heck?  
We could do it at a school.  
Or in the kitchen or the pool.  
I would do you here or there.  
I would do you anywhere.  
Oh do you like green legs with man?  
Tell me, tell me. Raph-I-am!  
Say! In the park?  
Here in the park!  
Would you, could you, in the park?  
  
Oh yes, I'd do you in the park!  
  
Would you, could you, in the car?  
Could you do it in the car?  
Well sorry, I don't have a car,  
How 'bout we do it in a bar?  
Or in the mall for all to see   
Or in the hallway, you and me  
Or we could do it in a store  
Work it, baby, give me more!  
I could screw you here or there.  
I could do you anywhere!  
If you do like green legs with man...  
  
I do! I like them, Raph-I-am!  
  
Oh, would you, would you, wear a chain?  
  
I'd love to, LOVE to, wear a chain!  
  
Would you, could you, in the rain?  
  
I want it, want it in the rain!  
I'd love to, love to wear a chain!  
I love to do you in the car!  
I need to feel you in the bar!  
And in the dark like on TV!  
Or broad daylight! Please don't tease me!  
  
And I could screw you in a truck.  
Oh, all the places we could...   
(uh, wait, can I say that here?)  
Yes, we could to it on a train.  
Or we could do it on a plane!  
Or in a bathroom stall, you say?  
Hey, we could do it every day!  
Oh, do you like green legs with man?  
  
I do! I like them, Raph-I-am.  
  
You really want me, so you say.  
Do me! Do me! Time to play.  
Not it's time to play, I say.  
  
(Woah! Holy CRAP, Raph, is that thing REAL?  
  
Of COURSE it's real, you moron! What do you think, it's fake?  
  
How the hell does it fit inside your shell? It's gotta be twenty-five... maybe twenty-five and a half...  
  
It folds up, stupid. Kinda like oragami. You know what oragami is? Oh never mind, you're too damn stupid.  
  
What's THAT supposed to mean?!?!?!  
  
It means it's your line, ditz. You're a natural blonde, aren't you?  
  
*growls* Can we just shut up and get this stupid poem over with before I rip your slimy green dick off your body and shove it down your throat?  
  
*throws his hands up, exasperated* It's YOUR LINE!!!!  
  
Oh. Right.  
  
*mumbles* Freak.  
  
*growls* Psycho.  
  
*draws weapons in a fit of rage* WHAT did you call me?!?!)  
  
Get this freak show offa me!  
Help me! Help me! I can't breathe!  
I'm sorry, Raph! I really am!  
I didn't mean it, Raph-I-am!  
  
Okay, okay, so where were we?  
About to do it in a tree?  
Or was it maybe in a car?  
Or on a beach, or in a bar?  
Or in a chair? Or in a tree?  
It feels so good, so good, you see.  
  
So we can do it all the time.  
I'm running out of things to rhyme.  
While all the hours pass us by.  
Here, let me help you with your...   
  
(WOAH! Holy CRAP, Casey, is that thing REAL?  
  
Of course it's real, moron!)  
  
So let us do it now and here.  
And then we'll do it EVERYWHERE!  
  
I see you like green legs and....daaaaaamn...   
  
Faster!  
Harder! Raph-I-am! 


End file.
